I am so thankful I'm a MOM, being able to bring a little life into this world is the greatest accomplishment I have ever had. I love the first time I get to hold my brand new baby, their smell, the touch of their warm skin on my skin, the little noise they make, there is nothing more humbling. With every baby I have had its the same warm feeling, its like I am holding a piece of Heaven in my arms. I spend days even weeks staring at them in awe, feeling so very blessed to be the mom of this tiny little person. I love how they need me, how they depend on me for food, warmth, dry diapers and just needing me to love them.
Through the years they sadly grow up and become less and less dependent of me, I look at Jaden right now and he sits contended on the couch watching tv. He is old enough now that he can take care of himself totally, it saddens me to see how fast he has grown up. He is no longer that tiny little 4 lb 14 oz baby boy that came into this world in such a hurry. He is now 14 1/2 years old and has changed so much even in the past year that it breaks my heart to know that I will only have him in my home for a mere 3 years.
I really don't think when you are 20 and have a baby that you realize how fast time really does fly by. I remember encouraging both him and Tanner and Brinlyn to talk and walk at young ages in life. How fun it was to watch them reach each mile stone and thinking to myself how fun next year would be when they would be another year older. Now I am in my 30's I look at life a bit differently, I now slow down on my wishing each year by. I notice that with both Rylan and Paisyn that I have not encouraged them to walk early as babies, instead I found myself on the floor with them just taking in every movement they would make. Hoping time would freeze and I could just smell the baby goodness of them both.
Rylan was like having a first baby all over again because of my older three being the ages they were had all reached that age in life where they could do a lot of thing on their own and didn't need me as much. They were all potty trained and slept through the night and if they needed a drink or food they could get something their selves. So it was fun to send them off to school and just rock her all morning long, I enjoyed having a little one in my arms again, it felt oh so good! I just feel that since I was older I had learned to not rush things but to just sit and enjoy the moment. I am so glad I did because little did I know that before Rylan even had her first birthday I would be pregnant with her baby sister Paisyn :). I enjoyed my Rylan all to myself for 19 months and then she had to share her mom with baby Paisyn. Now with two babies as I call it I am busy but I love it. I still find myself just living the moment, its ok I don't feel bad at all about it. Because before I know it they too will be old and not need me as much, but right now they do need me and I love it.
I love how Paisyn will come and get my finger and walk me into the kitchen to have me get something for her. I love how Rylan needs me to help put her shoes on. I love how these two babies still need their mommy just as much as I need them. And even if my older 3 kids don't think they need me all the time I know they do :) I know that even teenagers like their moms :) I love my 5 beautiful kids, they make me happy and feel my heart with the most perfect love.
Being a mom is the most precious gift I have ever been given, and I couldn't have done it with out my sweet Travis. I love being your wife just as much!
Love Love Love my special little family!!!
Love, MOM
