Four Years Today......

I can't believe that its already been four years today. Four years that I heard her voice, four years that I touched her warm skin, four years that I have been with out her. I guess I look at Janice as being more of a second mom to me then just a big sister. She made a lot of memories with me, ones that I will cherish forever! I must say Christmas this year was better for me to enjoy than the past few. I tend to get to sad this time of year and have a hard time letting myself get into the Christmas spirit, but this year was better. I enjoyed putting in our tree and decorating the house. I enjoyed the excitement of our kids and I enjoyed celebrating our Savior because of him I can see my sister again :)

Four years ago on Dec. 28, 2007 was a Friday, I had to work at Stans and so I had taken up all three kids for my mom to help me with. Janice was home trying to recover from being so sick and being in the Dixie Hospital for a week prior to Christmas. She was still sleeping when I had dropped of the kids so I didn't get to see her until I got off work at 6 that night. I remember walking into my moms house and the kids telling me how their day had gone. Brinlyn only 2 1/2 at the time was very happy to tell me that her and Janice had washed grandma's dishes for her. She loved her "Janie" and they had played blocks and Janice had watched the boys play all day as well. I asked my mom where Janice was and she said she was asleep because she spent most of the day with the kids. I told her that I wanted to show her a picture that Travis had taken of a cougar but not to wake her that I could show her another day. My mom insisted on waking her (boy am I ever glad she did) and went in and got her up. Janice walked in, I remember she looked weak and a bit puffy but I was just happy to see her and didn't think much of it. We sat by each other and I showed her the picture and we talked for a bit. The last thing I remember is that we both stood up and I hugged her and whispered in her ear that I loved her and kissed her warm cheek. Little did I know that would be the last time I would ever get to do that. We left to go home......

Through the night Janice got very sick and started throwing up and so my mom and her spent the night together in the two rocking chairs in my moms living room. My mom said they held hands and just relaxed, that morning my mom got up and was picking things up in the kitchen leaving Janice to sleep in the chair. After a while she went in to check on her and could see that things were not right with he at all, she called for my dad and they called at the store for my brother Derrin. He got there and took her out of the chair and started CPR, they called 911 and that was the last time Janice would ever be home.

I was home busy picking up my kitchen when my phone rang, I looked at the ID and seen it was Derrin's house. I remember thinking to myself before I answered that I know it wasn't my Saturday to work so I wonder what Derrin wanted. I said hello and when Derrin's voice was herd a feeling come over me and I knew something was wrong. I don't remember word for word that was said but I know I didn't even let him get out much before I asked him what was wrong with Janice. His voice cracked and he told me that she was in the ambulance being taken to Panguitch. My heart sank and he told me I needed to get up there and help calm Shana down and that he and my mom were on their way to go be with her at the hospital. I hung up the phone and sat there on the floor below my sink and held my head in my hands and cried. I got a hold of myself gathered up my kids took them up to Travis's mom and headed to Circleville. I drove way to fast but my mind was not thinking about anything other than getting to my moms.

I walked into the back door of my moms and as I entered into the living room and seen the furniture that the EMT's had moved around to get her out of the house. It hit me...... she was gone..... I knew it...... I didn't need anyone to call me up and tell me I felt it... It was a empty feeling that come across me, my heart slowed and I stood there just in silence staring out the big window of my moms. (I have never told many about this moment in my life but I want to just journal it for my own reasons.) I felt right then, that I wasn't alone in that room, there was a strong spirit it was very familiar and I had a calmness come over me. I spoke out loud and said Grandma J? ( my dads mom who had passed away in 2001) My heart then had a very warm feeling fill it. This moment didn't last long, but it did last long enough for me to understand that my Grandma J had come to call my big sister home.

I looked around and didn't want my mom or anyone else to see the mess that was left behind from that morning. So I quickly moved things back to their place, scrubbed the carpet where Janice and thrown up and started the laundry that had her vomit all over it. Then I left to go pick up Shana that was over to Derrin's house. When I got there Shana asked me if I thought Janice would be ok. I just told her that we should go back to mom's and that we could say a prayer for Janice. When we got back to my moms we sat there on the couch and hugged and talked for a minute. I already knew that at some point we would get "the call" so I just felt like I needed to calm Shana as much as possible and in some way prepare her for what I knew already in my heart. It was around 11:30 or so when Derrin called, I talked to him and he did tell me that Janice had passed away, my heart still dropped with him just confirming what I already knew. I held Shana in my arms and we both cried, it was a hard day to know that Janice was gone that she was never coming home and all we had left were the memories.

The day was a long one after my mom and dad got home, and reality sank in for us all. Lots of tears were shed and the mortuary had called and needed her obituary wrote by morning so they could get it into the paper. It was A LOT to take on! I was so very grateful for all the people that had brought us food and called to express their love, it was so nice because honestly, you kind of forget to eat after something like this happens. I was glad when Travis finally made it to my moms, I was trying so hard to be a rock for everyone else that I kind of needed him to be my rock at some point. That night we all sat down as a family and talked about a few things but not much was a definite on what we wanted to plan funeral wise, I think we were all still in a state of shock and really couldn't process it all yet. That night after Travis and I got home and we had told our kids and cried again. I got to thinking and could not sleep at all. So I sat at the computer for dang near the entire night writing Janice's obituary and looking at our wedding pictures of her and so I picked out this picture for her obituary.

And this for her newspaper obituary. I called my mom that morning and her and Derrin seemed to like what I had come up with. And my mom and decided that she wanted to talk at her funeral so things had started to fall into place. Which in a way comforts you to know that you are doing one last thing for someone that you love so very much.

Boys!!

BASEBALL :) We love it here at our house and we really had a great season with both boys. Jaden started his first year with the 13-15 year old league and did a great job! They play on High School Fields and I was worried that the big jump in distance would bother him, but it didn't! He is such a great hitter and fielder and he LOVES it!! Tanner, played his last year with the 9-10 year old league and was so excited because he was able to play on the same team as his best bud Wesley. Also, Travis helped coach this year and Tanner really did enjoy having his dad right there by his side.

 I am so very thankful for Allyson and her girls because all these great pictures of the boys came from them. I was so pregnant at the start of the season and in the middle of the season had Paisyn. So it was so nice of them to cheer on both my boys!!

Jaden and his team had a great season, they took first at the Valley Rally and Jaden even received an MVP award!

Notice the dirt on Jaden (4th from the right on the bottom row), he slide into home and scored the last run of the Championship game! WAY TO GO BUD!!

Needless to say Piute did very well at the Valley Rally, this is Tanner's team also with a first place win in their age group of the tournament. Tanner ended up with an MVP award as well, his story below :)

This picture is not of the Valley tournament but it fits with my story of how Tanner's team won their championship game. Piute ended up playing Panguitch and so we all know how big of a battle that always turns out haha. Any who, we were tied, last inning, base's loaded  and Tanner was up to bat. (I'm going to finish this part of the story in Tanner's own words) .... I look at my dad before I stepped into the batter's box, then I just said to myself  "hey Tanner lets just take one for the team and win this thing". So I hugged the plate and he pitched and sure enough hit me! We Win Game Over!!! haha  ..... And Yes, that is how it all went down :)

Jaden, playing in Richfield at their last tournament of the season.

He is a good batter, likes to knock them as far as he can :)

Tanner and his team did very well they ended up playing Milford for the Championship game in Richfield for the state tournament.

This kid pitched a GREAT season!!

His older brother has taught him well at batting :o)

They announced every boys name on the team and coaches and then the national anthem. It was pretty "big" time if ya ask me!

Trying our hardest to score a run but Milford ended up beating us. But hey, second place is still good.

Every player received their own trophy, which is pretty dang cool.

These two are the greatest best of friends/cousins ever! They really are so much alike and always have a blast when they get together.

Had to sneak a picture of my other guy in here :o) if ya ask me he looks pretty darn HOT!! Love ya Babe!

We have been so blessed with this special little girl entering into our lives. I can't tell you how much love she has brought with her. I love LOVE when I go to get her out of the crib after she wakes up, and when she see's me and flashes those sparkling blue eyes of hers and a great big GRIN! It melts my heart and makes me count my blessing of how blessed I am to have such healthy, amazing little kids.

We blessed her in August and I just wanted to share a few of the pictures that were taken of her special day.

I feel so lucky and blessed that my kids have the opportunity to know and love both sets of their grandparents. I get a warm feeling every time I get to watch the interacting my kids have with their Grandmas and Grandpas. I will always  remember how sad it made me when I was a little girl that I never had my two Grandpas here on this earth to love me and do things with me. So the fact that all five of my kids have this wonderful experience does my heart good. Just look at how Kenny is looking at Paisyn in this picture, its a Grandpas love and I am so glad that my kids get to make all kinds of wonderful memories with these four very special people :)

Travis and I have the best family, the love and support they give us is incredible! We really did have a great turnout and Travis did an amazing job blessing our sweet little girl. (she was the first of our three girls to not cry) but I have to add this as well... Its amazing because Paisyn really has liked to cry a lot (way more than any of our other babies) notice all these pictures at the church haha!!

I love our family, and that they are always here for Travis and I ! I love that my Heavenly Father has blessed me so much and that Travis and I have each other and our 5 spunky, amazing and loving kids.

School pictures are here!

Our little sweetheart

Our little Ry Bug

Sweet Girl Brinlyn

Tanner 11 Yrs old

Jaden 13 Yrs old

A photo shoot that I just loved!

 Sure do love this boy!

 In many times he is like my right hand.

 This kid loves to be outside!

What a handsome man.

 This girl has the most amazing eyes!

What a heart breaker.

Our spunky princess!

We all love her so much.

This was such a fun photo shoot! Thanks to Priscilla Morgan for capturing these specials moments of our beautiful kids!

Can I just say "how cute is Rylan's chunky little legs"?

Okay, so I have to add in these last few pictures because I can't leave out our precious Paisyn who was still a twinkle in our eye when these pictures were taken. Can I just echo myself again on just how blessed we are with our 5 beautiful children!

We love each of you in so many different ways! Thanks for choosing us to be your parents :o)